Sunday, October 26, 2008
under my skin,
wx you suck.
but i dont even fucking know why i'm feeling like this.
i need a clean blade, alcohol and a shot or two.
my mind is crumbling like a sandcastle without water.
my nails prevent me from hurting myself more than i should.
its like a compromise. a pretty good one at that.
people don't take broken skin very well, but they often don't pause to ask about the pain under unbroken skin.
red welts that hiss angrily but fade away without much notice is deemed acceptable, rather than the much welcomed open flesh.
(but it's dangerous because of some reason my main veins are directly under my skin at the right spots.)
(and it's also dangerous because i still have school for 2 days.)
(the 2nd reason is the main reason.)
FUCK LA.GAWD I WANT TO RIP MY OWN FUCKEN SKIN OFF AND ME APART MY MIND'S WHIRLING I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND LET ME JUST KILL MYSELF NOW ITS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE ME UNDER MY SKIN ITS NOT FUCKING PSYCHOLOGICAL ITS THERE ITS THERE MOCKING AT ME DISAPPEARING WHEN I CATCH IT THERE AT TIMES AND THEN ITS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD JUST LET EVERYTHING POUR OUT BECAUSE TEARS JUST AINT THE THING IT SHOULDNT BE TEARS IT SHOULD BE TEARS ITS TELLING ME IT ONLY SHUTS UP WHEN I STAB MYSELF WITH SOMETHING ITS WORDS ARE KILLING ME I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP AT NIGHT ITS THERE MAKING MY HEAD WHIRL IN THOUGHTS ITS LIKE IM STANDING AT THE EDGE IM ABOUT TO FALL OFF ANY TIME JUST RELIEVE ME OF THIS PAIN WITHIN PLEASE JUST LET ME GET IT OUT IT WILL GO AWAY AT ONCE I FEEL IT IN SKIN PLEASE GO AWAY I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE PLEASE PLEASE JUST RIP ME OPEN LET IT FLOW OUT IN ITS PUTRID FORM OF RED SMELLING OF RUSTED STEEL AND TASTING NONE THE BETTER PLEASE I BEG YOU JUST PLUNGE INTO ME AND GET IT OUT GET IT OUT
GET IT FUCKING OUT NOW OH MY FUCKING GAWD PLEASE
Labels: emo, i feel like #$%^*, irritated, love, sad, stressed
Posted @ 10/26/2008 01:46:00 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
under my skin,
wx you suck.
but i dont even fucking know why i'm feeling like this.
i need a clean blade, alcohol and a shot or two.
my mind is crumbling like a sandcastle without water.
my nails prevent me from hurting myself more than i should.
its like a compromise. a pretty good one at that.
people don't take broken skin very well, but they often don't pause to ask about the pain under unbroken skin.
red welts that hiss angrily but fade away without much notice is deemed acceptable, rather than the much welcomed open flesh.
(but it's dangerous because of some reason my main veins are directly under my skin at the right spots.)
(and it's also dangerous because i still have school for 2 days.)
(the 2nd reason is the main reason.)
FUCK LA.GAWD I WANT TO RIP MY OWN FUCKEN SKIN OFF AND ME APART MY MIND'S WHIRLING I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND LET ME JUST KILL MYSELF NOW ITS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE ME UNDER MY SKIN ITS NOT FUCKING PSYCHOLOGICAL ITS THERE ITS THERE MOCKING AT ME DISAPPEARING WHEN I CATCH IT THERE AT TIMES AND THEN ITS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD JUST LET EVERYTHING POUR OUT BECAUSE TEARS JUST AINT THE THING IT SHOULDNT BE TEARS IT SHOULD BE TEARS ITS TELLING ME IT ONLY SHUTS UP WHEN I STAB MYSELF WITH SOMETHING ITS WORDS ARE KILLING ME I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP AT NIGHT ITS THERE MAKING MY HEAD WHIRL IN THOUGHTS ITS LIKE IM STANDING AT THE EDGE IM ABOUT TO FALL OFF ANY TIME JUST RELIEVE ME OF THIS PAIN WITHIN PLEASE JUST LET ME GET IT OUT IT WILL GO AWAY AT ONCE I FEEL IT IN SKIN PLEASE GO AWAY I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE PLEASE PLEASE JUST RIP ME OPEN LET IT FLOW OUT IN ITS PUTRID FORM OF RED SMELLING OF RUSTED STEEL AND TASTING NONE THE BETTER PLEASE I BEG YOU JUST PLUNGE INTO ME AND GET IT OUT GET IT OUT
GET IT FUCKING OUT NOW OH MY FUCKING GAWD PLEASE
Labels: emo, i feel like #$%^*, irritated, love, sad, stressed
Posted @ 10/26/2008 01:46:00 PM